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What's your Kink? That's what this site is
about. Everyone has their own little fetishes.
Some have more than others. Do you know what
your's are? Here are some terms and definitions
from the fetish "language".
TYPES OF FETISHES
Acrotomophilia
The person is sexually aroused by the sight
of an amputation usually of a whole arm or
leg.
Adolescentilism
The person is aroused by impersonating both
the dress and behavior of an adolescent.
Andromimetophilia
A woman who is sexually aroused by impersonating
a man. They purposefully look like and act
like a man.
Apotemnophilia
This person is sexually aroused by having
a part of their body amputated either by themselves
or someone else. The memory of the amputation
can serve to arouse them for years. It is
the act of having an extremity amputated that
is arousing; thus, they have to be awake during
the process.
Asphyxiophilia
This is sexual arousal caused by loss of control
over your ability to breathe. Self strangulation
or allowing another person to asphyxiate you.
Autagonistophilia
Unlike exhibitionism where the person intentionally
exposes their genitals to an unsuspecting
stranger, in this paraphilia the person creates
situations in which other people could see
them in the nude if the person wanted to.
For example, it would be like leaving your
curtains open and walking around the house
naked in hopes that someone would peep in
the windows. It is the thought that someone
may be watching that is sexually arousing.
Autassassinophilia
The person is sexually aroused by putting
themselves in situations in which they may
be killed. They really have to feel they are
in danger in order to be sexually aroused.
Unfortunately, many of them get killed in
the process.
Autonepiophilia
This is the same thing as infantilism.
Biastophilia
In this paraphilia the person is sexually
aroused by the idea of being raped. This is
scripted and planned out ahead of time with
a partner. The person does not actually want
to be raped by a stranger.
Catheterophila
The person is sexually aroused by the insertion
of a catheter.
Chrematistophilia
This person can only become sexually aroused
if they are being blackmailed into it.
Coprophilia
Smearing human feces on yourself or having
someone smear it on you causing sexual arousal.
Coprophagia
Eating and ingesting human feces.
Ephebophilia
This is a form of pedophilia, but the person
is very specific in the size, shape, and amount
of body hair the pre-pubescent child has.
Erotophonophilia
These people are dangerous. They are sexually
aroused by attempts not just thoughts of killing
someone.
Formicophilia
Sexual arousal is caused by having insects
crawl on their genitals.
Gerontophilia
The person is only sexually aroused
by a significantly older person. There has
to be at least a 15 year difference between
their ages.
Gynemimetophilia
A person who is sexually aroused by a female
impersonator.
Hybristophilia
Sexual relations with a convicted criminal.
Hyphephilia
Touching or rubbing a human or non human object
is essential for achieving sexual arousal.
Hypoxphilia
The same as asphyxiophilia.
Infantilism
Dressing as an infant and acting the role
of a child under two years old is sexually
arousing. This can include some or all body
hair and the hiring of a nurse or nanny to
take care of you.
Kleptophilia
Similar to kleptomania, kleptophilia results
in sexual arousal from stealing not just thrill
seeking.
Klismaphilia
Getting an enema is sexually arousing. More
liquid is associated with greater pleasure.
Mixophilia
The person likes to watch their partner or
themselves engage in sexual activity. Usually
this means watching themselves in a mirror.
Morphophilia
Peculiar body shapes and sizes are sexually
arousing such as heavy, short, dwarfism, etc.
Mysophilia
The person is sexually aroused by dirt, mud,
or filth.
Narratophilia
Telling dirty stories is sexually arousing.
Necrophilia
Engaging in sexual activities with dead people.
Nepiophilia
The person is sexually aroused by infants.
This can range from newborns to about two
years old.
Olfactophilia
The person is sexually aroused by body smells.
Usually inserting finger anus, vagina, etc.
and smelling it during sex.
Pictohilia
Watching X-rated films is sexually arousing.
Raptophilia
Same as biastophilia.
Scoptophilia
Same as mixophilia.
Somnophilia
The person can only maintain sexual arousal
while having sex with someone who is sleeping.
If the person wakes up they loose interest.
Stigmatophilia
Body piercing and tattooing but not ear piercing
is sexually arousing.
Symphorphilia
Natural disasters are sexually arousing.
Telephonicophilia
Talking dirty on the phone or being talked
to lewdly.
Urophilia
Being urinated on or urinating on someone.
Golden showers
Zoophilia
The person wants to be treated like an animal
wearing a collar and even eating out of an
animals dish. This is different from bestiality
in which the person wants to have sex with
an animal.
AGE PLAY
Role-playing the persona of someone substantially
younger (or sometimes older) than your actual
age.
BONDAGE
Physical materials applied to a submissive
or slave to restrain their ability to move
and/or to otherwise restrict them. Also, the
act of placing the submissive or slave in
such materials.
BOTTOM
A slang term for a submissive and/or masochist.
Many people use the word "bottom"
to mean specifically someone who enjoys being
given various sensations, as opposed to a
"submissive", who enjoys being controlled.
BOTTOM SPACE
The psychological "head space" or
attitude of being submissive.
BOY
A submissive (often, but not always, male)
who relates to their dominant in a child-to
parent mode. More common among gay men and
lesbians.
BRAT
A submissive who enjoys rebelling in a childlike
way against their dominant. Brats are fairly
common in the spanking scene.
CONSENSUAL
An activity done with the consent of adults
competent to give that consent. One of the
central features of SM play..
COUNTING GAMES
Rituals engaged in during whipping, flogging,
spanking , or during other forms of flagellation,
in which the submissive (or slave) is required
to keep count f the number of strokes delivered,
often thanking the Master after each one and
asking for more. Example: "Thats five,
Sir. Thank you Sir, Sir, please may I have
another, Sir?"
DADDY
A dominant (usally, but not always, male)
who has a submissive "boy" and who
relates to that submissive in a parent/child
mode. More common among gay men and lesbians,
but gaining currency among heterosexuals and
bisexuals as well.
DISCIPLINE
Training by a Master in how they wish their
submissive or slave to behave. Also, the punishment
and correction administered by the Master
when the submissive fails to act in the proper
manner.
DOMINANT
One who enjoys assuming control. One who decidees
what happens and when. A dominant may or may
not be sadistic.
FLAGELLATION
The general act of one person striking another,
usually in an erotic context. Includes spanking,
paddling, flogging and whipping.
FLOGGER
A multi-tailed whip in which the tails are
long, flat strips of leather or a similarly
flexible material.
HUMILIATION
Activities which cause the submissive to feel
shame, embarrassment, or degradation. Varies
widely from person to person. Possibly psychologically
explosive..
MASTER
A term for a male dominant. Often used as
a term of address, such as "Master Tom".
It is often considered somewhat rude to address
a man by this term without being first given
permission to do so.
MASTER-slave RELATIONSHIP
An ongoing SM relationship in which the slave
is submissive to a male dominant.
MONDAY MORNING REBOUND SYNDROME
Feelings of remorse, disgust, fear, and so
forth that sometimes emerge hours or days
after a person willingly, and often lustily,
takes part in SM play.
MUMMIFICATION
Immobilizing bondage, usally done by wrapping
the submissive in many coils of materials
such as plastic wrap, or by placing the submissive
in a body bag designed for this purpose.
NOVICE
A person just beginning to learn about and
explore SM. Often treated with special kindness
and attention by the more experienced members
of the community or by the MASTER.
SADIST
As loosely defined with the SM Community,
a person who specifically enjoys administering
pain. A person may be dominant without being
sadistic. It's also possible to be sadistic
without being dominant.
SADOMASOCHISM
A rather vague term referring generally to
fantasies and experiences regarding the introduction
of domination, submission, bondage, sadism,
masochism, humiliation, and related activities
into erotic play.
SAFEWORD
A specific word or other signal used, by prior
agreement, to indicate that things are "really"
becoming too intense for the person. Usally
used by the submissive or slave, but may also
be used by the dominant. "Safeword"
itself is sometimes used at SM parties to
signal a desire for outside intervention.
SLAVE
A person who has an on-going, structured relationship
with a dominant or Master. One who assumes
the submissive role, often in a highly developed
and committed way to a particular person.
Cling someone "my slave" generally
indicates a relatively sophisticated, ongoing
relationship between the two of you.
SUBMISSIVE
One who yields control. One who obeys orders
adn may permit themselves to be bound if doing
so pleases their dominant or Master.xt
TOP'S DISEASE
An unwarranted attitude of superiority taken
by a domiant. Believing that bottoms are somehow
inferior and treating them so in either obvious
or subtle ways. Usually a sign of insecurity
or ignorance. Dominants who suffer from Top's
Disease often (surprise, surprise) complain
about how hard it is to find people willing
to play with them. a mirror image of this
syndrome is called Bottom's Disease.
TWO SQUEEZES
A "squeeze signal" between players
used to non-verbally signal that, "I'm
all right."
WORSHIP
To adore the personage of the dominant. Often
combined with performing some service to the
dominant's body such as massaging, kissing,
or licking their feet or boots, massaging
their body, bathing them. Explicitly sexual
activity, such as performing oral sex on the
dominant, may or may not be a part of such
play.
GOTHIC TERMS & DEFINITIONS
alternateen:
This term is meant to designate those teenybopper
kids who listen to alternative music and
try to be different by looking identical
to other trend-following teenagers who are
trying to be different. Usually used in
reference to the kids who listen to Pearl
Jam or U2, for example, and other such Top
40 bands that are classified as alternative
for some reason. (The gothic version of
these types are called baby bats.)
angst: The existential suffering and depression
one feels when one can see the world in
all its tragedy. See "oh the angst
of it all."
baby bat:
A derogatory term for those wannabe Gothics
who are only familiar with the superficial
aspects of the culture. They may do their
makeup horribly and only listen to the most
popular of the goth bands. They are mostly
the younger kids going through a phase and
trying to look cool. However people tend
to fling this label at anyone they don't
like. A lot of people prefer not to use
the label because it implies a "more
gothic than thou" attitude.
Batcave: A club in Soho (London)
that began in the early eighties and nurtured
the first generation of gothics from their
punk heritage. Bands like Alien Sex Fiend
played there live. It was closed down years
later with the apparent death of the Gothic
movement in the UK. The term Batcave also
refers to the more punk oriented Gothic.
bondage babe: Girls decked
out in fetish clothing at clubs, including
bondage collar, bondage bracelets, bondage
belt and some sort of latex, vinyl, or rubber
outfit. Usually intended to mean the people
who are following the fetish fashion trend
rather than those who know much about fetish
and BDSM culture. Also bondage boy.
Bondage gear: For example, bracelets, belts,
collars, etc. that will have a metal O ring
or D ring attached. See Mary's picture for
a look at a bondage belt. See Amy's picture
for a look at a bondage collar. The purpose
is to attach something like rope, for example,
to the metal ring in some sort of way to
restrict a person's movement, thus the idea
"bondage". It is a popular trend
among Gothics to wear these, even if they
don't use them for bondage. See BDSM.
BDSM:
Represents Bondage, Discipline, and Sado-Masochism
(also related, Dominance & Submission
= DS). It is a form of sexual fantasy play
between consenting adults often involving
fetishes, focusing on mental, sensual and
erotic experience over the standard sexual
intercourse, and requiring a great level
emotional trust and communication between
partners. BDSM does not have anything to
do with using pain or force on someone who
is an unwilling victim. Although Gothics
tend to appear to be familiar with the practices
of bondage by their apparel, most of those
people wearing vinyl pants and bondage bracelets
don't know the first thing about BDSM and
are following a fashion trend. The majority
of BDSM practitioners have nothing to do
with gothic, and they view bondage gear
as a tool, not an accessory.
devil bunny:
The term comes from a song by My Life with
the Thrill Kill Kult. It is used to designate
the people who think "Satan is cool,"
but are not exactly worshippers of
Satan.
See Theatrical Satanists.
Doom & Gloom:
The type of Gothic focused on morbid,
tragic, depressing or apocalyptic themes.
See mopey
goths.
"Everyday is Halloween": this
phrase comes from the song "(Everyday
Is) Halloween" by the band Ministry.
The unofficial lyrics are:
Well I live with snakes and lizards and
other things that go bump in the night,
but to me everyday is Halloween,
I've given up hiding and started to fight,
and I started to fight.
Well, anytime, anyplace, anywhere that
I go
all the people seem to stop and stare.
They say, "Why are you dressed like
it's Halloween?
You look so absurd. You look so obscene."
Chorus
Oh, why can't I live a life for me?
Why should I take the abuse that's served?
Why can't they see they're just like me?
It's the same, it's the same in the whole
wide world.
Well I let their teeny minds think
that they're dealing with someone
who is over the brink,
and I dress this way
just to keep them at bay
because Halloween is everyday, hey
is everyday hey.
Repeat Chorus
Oh, why can't I live a life for me?
Why should I take the abuse that's served?
Why can't they see they're just like me?
I'm not the one that's so absurd.
Why hide it?
Why fight it?
Hurt feelings,
best to stop feeling hurt from
denials, reprisals.
It's the same, it's the same in the whole wide world.
fetish:
The dictionary's definition of fetish is
excessive sexual focus on an object of fixation.
Fetish fashion covers a wide range of fabrics
such as leather, PVC, vinyl, rubber, and
latex. It also includes items such as stiletto
heels, thigh high boots, corsets and bondage
gear or other items of clothing that one
might become fixated on. See BDSM.
first generation/second generation:
First generation emerged mostly in the UK
in the late seventies and early eighties
as a splinter from the punk movement characterized
by bands like The Damned, Bauhaus, Siouxsie
and the Banshees, and Joy Division. They
were called Gothic later on, but most didn't
consider themselves Gothic. By the mid to
late eighties, the Gothic movement was waning.
In the late eighties/early nineties, a new
generation of Gothic bands emerged, for
example The Shroud, Rosetta Stone, Nosferatu
and London After Midnight, who were the
first to characteristically call themselves
Gothic. This is when the U.S. Gothic movement
grew significantly, and Gothic became recognized
as a distinct subculture. Whether or not
second generation is authentically Gothic
depends on whom you ask. Many of those first
generation adherents will say it is not,
and many others will say that second generation
is a bad imitation of first generation.
glamgoth:
A sarcastic term used for bands, (and their
fans) who are excessively concerned with
fitting the stereotypical Goth image. These
bands might spend longer putting on their
makeup for a concert than the actual concert
lasts. Frequently during the set they might
take a clove break or stop because their
makeup is smearing. Their stage names will
be something like Vlad or Lestat. You might
find them singing about angst and tragedy,
vampires, or doing excessively cheesy things.
gothic slide: A characteristically gothic
dance move in which your boots do not leave
the dance floor as you glide across it by
moving your feet. Somewhat like the footwork
in the movie Footloose, but much more chaotic.
integrity:
A band with integrity will not compromise
the artistic expression in their music in
order to sell more records. Usually integrity
means that a band is creating adventurous,
meaningful or original music. See selling
out.
"in the scene":
1) Being involved in the social scene, especially
frequenting clubs.
2) Also refers to people who go to all the
"happening" parties every night.
Someone deeply involved in the scene wants
you to think they know everyone at a club
by giving anyone that is even a brief acquaintance
a hug as if they were great friends. They
might say, "You know, it's sad when
I look around and realize I know everyone."
They are also big name droppers. You might
hear them say something like, "Yeah,
William Faith (of Faith and the Muse) invited
me to come on tour with them, but I told
him that I just didn't have the time."
kindergoth:
Also, kindergothen. It can be derogatory,
meaning a poser much like baby bat, or it
can also be neutral, meaning a very young
Goth, usually 16 or younger.
Mansonite:
Much akin to the ninny, the Mansonite worships
the band, and the lead singer who goes by
the same name, Marilyn Manson. This term
is usually used for those fans who like
to dress up like him, do their makeup like
him and wear Marilyn Manson t-shirts. Many
goths will use this term in a derogatory
way towards the teenagers they think are
foolish for liking Marilyn Manson.
melodrama:
Also, psychodrama. In the dictionary, melodrama
means a work characterized by extravagant
drama and theatricality, appealing to the
emotions. Melodrama is used to describe
the way a social scene often seems like
a soap opera.
mod/waver:
A term for fans of Modern/New Wave music.
Mods usually love eighties music and British
pop such as Depeche Mode, The Cure, Echo
and the Bunnymen, The Smiths, etc.
mopey Goths:
Goths who have an overdeveloped sense of
angst. These Goths are the ones you may
find brooding in dark corners, pondering
the pain of existence, wondering why their
girlfriend/boyfriend has torn their heart
out (again). In general, they tend to take
life very seriously.
"more gothic than thou":
A sarcastic phrase used to designate a snobbish
attitude, or describe people who take themselves
too seriously. A play on "'holier than
thou." Someone with a "more gothic
than thou" attitude will likely tell
you about the gothic bands they are into
by saying, "You probably haven't heard
of them."
net.goth:
A term for those Goths who frequently post
to the alt.gothic newsgroup and have a fairly
well known presence among the internet Goth
community. The internet seems to have a
culture all its own almost. Before I started
web surfing, I had never heard the phrase
perky Goth, mopey Goth or net.goth.
ninny:
A derogatory term for enthusiastic fans
of the band Nine Inch Nails . The Nine Inch
Nails symbol is . The term ninny is used
to express the idea that people who worship
Trent Reznor (who essentially is Nine Inch
Nails) are foolish.
"oh so gothic":
1) A sarcastic phrase to express one's opinion
of something as Goth-worthy i.e. "I
see you have all of the Bauhaus albums on
vinyl. That's oh so gothic of you,"
or "Those skull shaped candle holders
are oh so gothic."
2) A sarcastic phrase for those who take
fitting the image of being gothic too seriously.
Say it with a really cheesy English upper-class
accent to add emphasis.
"Oh the angst of it all": A sarcastic
phrase used to mimic Gothics who take themselves
too seriously and are constantly brooding.
To add emphasis when saying it, put the
back of your hand to your forehead and look
like the weight of the world is on your
shoulders.
perky Goth:
Some may say this is an oxymoron, but perky
Goths are people who like the gothic style
and music, but don't like the doom and gloom
attitude some Goths have. (For those of
you who have seen Switchblade Symphony play
live, think of Tina Root.) Perky Goths try
not to take themselves too seriously and
don't brood. They like to have fun. You'll
often find them wearing, for example, body
glitter, a mixture of black and non-black
clothing, and telling the mopey Goths to
lighten up. The mopey Goths say that they
are missing the point of Gothic entirely.
raver: Can either refer
to a fan of techno music, or techno music
itself. Techno music is characterized by
an electronic, digital, fast beat created
by drum machines. There is also a large
subculture surrounding it. Large, secret,
underground gatherings of techno music and
drug use are called raves.
rivethead:
A fairly recent term used to describe fans
of industrial music. The term Industrial
was coined in 1976 (another child of the
punk movement) several years before Gothic
emerged. However, it remained only a music
form for much longer before a culture developed
around it. Gothic as a subculture is older
than industrial subculture. See Industrial
in the Music Related Definitions.
selling out:
A term used to describe bands who were once
underground and then became popular, Top
40 music. Usually the term selling out refers
to the band or artist compromising their
musical quality or artistic expression in
order to sell more music. They are essentially
selling themselves. It often is used by
the underground elitists to justify not
liking a band based only on who else listens
to them. Music that has sold out has somehow
become diluted, common, and generic when
it once may have had specialness, power
and force. Whether the artist did the diluting
or the constant repetition of a song on
the radio, MTV etc. dilutes it, the effect
is the same. See integrity.
spooky kid: This is a very recent
term which doesn't have much widespread
usage quite yet. The spooky kids are followers
of Marilyn Manson and Nine Inch Nails and
are mostly under 18 years old. (Originally
the name of the band was Marilyn Manson
and the Spooky Kids.) People confuse spooky
kids for Goths, which is frustrating to
Goths because Goth culture gets blamed for
the stupid things spooky kids do. Spooky
kids and Goths don't associate with each
other very much, and they tend to not like
each other. Goths resent them for being
poseurs and giving Goth a bad name, and
they resent Goths for being snobs and elitists.
Spooky kid is usually used as a derogatory
term similar to baby bat, but it specifically
refers to the younger and ardent Marilyn
Manson and Nine Inch Nails fans. I'm not
sure if spooky kids call themselves spooky
kids, I think most of them call themselves
Goth.
ultragoth:
1)In the pie chart, Ultra Goth is described
as those for whom gothic is who they are,
not what they dress up as.
2) Also, the Gothics who have a more extreme
appearance and/or have been in the scene
for a long time. They are usually over 20
years old.
3) Often used to designate the gothic snobs,
ones who have a "more gothic than thou"
attitude.
underground:
Something that is not widely known about
among the general population. It is secret,
obscure, hidden, rare, only for a selected
few who are knowledgeable enough to pursue
it. There are two tendencies that often
occur in those who adamantly participate
in an underground culture. The first is
elitism. In general the elitists view themselves
as having suffered (persecution, harassment)
to become a part of something rare and unusual.
They dislike those who have not suffered
to join the culture, those who are following
a trend. The trend-followers defile what
was sacred and make common what was once
rare. The elitists view that culture as
something they had to search for, discover,
and suffer ridicule for; and they despise
those who had it handed to them. The second
tendency of those in an underground culture
is a wide familiarity (often acceptance
and friendliness depending on the person)
with other people in the social scene or
those who appear to be a part of the same
culture.
weekender/weekend
Goth:
1) In the pie chart, weekender is defined
as the kids going through a phase. See also
baby bat.
2) Also, weekend Goths are the people who
dress normally when around normal people
and dress gothic when they go to gothic
clubs. Basically, they are the ones who
conform to whatever environment they are
in. It has nothing to do with their knowledge
of the culture, it has to do with their
appearance in different contexts. Some weekend
Goths have to dress somewhat normally because
of a professional career but are Goth at
heart. Some don't dare to suffer the ostracism
they would receive by looking different
among normal people and are only closet
Goths Depending on which type of person
the term is applied to, it can have either
neutral or negative connotations.
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