Lets not bore you with a lame article. Admit
it. You've done it. Most likely in your adolescence
when you first noticed it was getting bigger,
or maybe later when you noticed everyone else's
was big and yours wasn't. At some point almost
every guy measures himself if only as an act
of reassurance. The first ruler was invented
in 1675 and I'm guessing it was measuring
some guy's Penis before 1676.
Most of us have a number in our heads, no
doubt rounded up to the nearest quarter-inch
of where the end of our Penis sits next to
the ruler. Most of us when pressed as to what
this number is will jack that figure up another
quarter or half inch. If asked, I would answer
quite truthfully, "Oh I don't know, somewhere
between 6 and 8 inches." And then with
a grin and a shrug I'd admit that it was probably
closer to six. In truth, my maximum skin-busting
erection never exceeded a hair's width over
So there's a lot of misinformation out there
about Penis size. Most porn stars list their
Peniss in the 10" to 13" range. In
truth, hardly any of them exceed 10"
inches. Even the legendary Penis of Ron Jeremy
topped out at 9.75". Most adult film
actors measure somewhere around 8 inches.
Now, don't get me wrong, that's still one
hell of a Penis. Hold up a normal sized sheet
of paper. Its width is 8.5 inches. Imagine
something that size sticking out from your
loins. Now imagine something the length (11
inches) of that paper. Ever seen any Penis
that big on-screen or off? I sure haven't.
And I'm betting if you whipped something like
that out of your pants more women would be
running away than coming forward.
Most of us, whether from watching porn or
listening to friends brag about their imaginary
seven-and-a-half inches, have been left with
a pretty misguided notion of what the average
sized Penis actually is. But what is average?
If we were to add up the length of every erect
adult penis in the world and divide the total
by the number of penises, what would that
result be? Well, the answer is anywhere from
5 to 6.5 inches, depending on which study
you want to rely on. That's right; after dozens
of rigorous scientific studies conducted in
every part of the world, the only thing we
can tell you with certainty is that if you're
less than 5 inches you're smaller than average
and if you're larger than 6.5 inches you're
bigger than average. But what if you're in
between? An inch-and-a-half is a big variance.
In any particular study it's roughly the difference
between the 10th and 90th percentile. How,
you may ask can there be such a discrepancy
between results? Well, it turns out that it's
damnably hard to accurately gauge the size
of the average erect Penis.
Why is it so, er, hard? It certainly seems
simple enough: get a stiffy - whip out ruler.
Ah, but as any man can tell you. There are
stiffies and then there are stiffies. The
difference between a half-assed erection and
a raging hard-on can be as much as an inch.
Then there's the methodology. Where do you
measure from? Along the top? Along the side?
From the bottom? Each method gives a different
Next, you have to ask; who's doing the measuring?
A white-coated scientist, a bikini-clad babe,
or the subject himself? Perhaps the most famous
and oft quoted study was conducted by Alfred
Kinsey in the 50s and 60s. Kinsey provided
3,500 subjects with postcards against which
they were to mark the maximum extent of their
erection. About 2,500 men responded and the
average turned out to be 6.25 inches in length.
Another study using similar methodology in
1996 got similar results (6.38 inches).
The problem here is what has become known
as "self-reportage bias." Even when
assured that the results are completely anonymous,
guys tend to exaggerate. You'd think it would
be the opposite. That they'd deliberately
underestimate the size of their penises in
order to skew down the average size to which
they would then compare themselves more favorably.
Self-reportage bias is a real phenomenon and
has been observed in numerous surveys on everything
from drinking habits to stated income. In
fact, a whole school of statistical analysis
has developed on how to adjust for this bias.
Next, you need to ask who is being measured?
Selection bias is a real problem when it comes
to measuring Peniss. If you're selecting men
at random to submit to having their Peniss
measured you can bet that the only ones likely
to step-up are men who are comfortable with
their size. So the results from that group
are likely to be skewed towards a larger average.
Conversely, if your study group is a bunch
of guys who are signing up for Penis enlargement
surgery, you can expect the average to be
skewed in the other direction.
Then you have to ask where the study is being
conducted. Different populations may have
different average sizes. You've probably heard
rumors about African men being proportionately
large and East Asian men being proportionately
small. These rumors seem to have some basis
in fact, although the extent of the difference
appears to be exaggerated.
Finally, how large is the sample size? If
it's only 20 men, a single large or small
Penis can skew the results.
A definitive study would involve a large
and completely random selection of men from
a wide variety of human populations (or a
similarly large and completely random selection
within a specific population depending on
whom you're measuring yourself against). It
could be conducted free of bias using exactly
the same methodology for each subject. And
it would be conducted on penises at peak erection.
This is a pretty tall order and not surprisingly,
out of the dozens of studies conducted, not
a single one has conformed to all of these
Perhaps the single greatest difficulty in
measuring the erect Penis is the variation
in the erection size of a single individual.
We all know when we're busting a maximum stiffy,
but we can't always conjure one up at a moment's
notice, especially in a clinical setting.
To counter this problem, one study measured
every guy coming out of a nightclub on spring
break. They used attractive women to act as
"fluffers" to help them build up
a head of steam. And it seemed to work. The
experiment is seen as one of the most definitive
and the average came in at 5.9 inches.
Another method is to eschew erections period.
Apparently, there is a very strong correlation
between the length of an erection and the
length of the same penis when fully stretched.
This makes sense as Peniss are only partially
elastic. They're more like the bellows of
an accordion than an elastic band. You can
pull them out a fair ways, but then they come
to a point where no amount of tugging will
make them any longer. Indeed, it is thought
that the size of the penis is a direct function
of the capacity of the tunica albuginea, a
tough fibrous sheath that surrounds the corpus
cavernosa. Once the tunica albuginea is maxed
out, that's it, bub.
Of course, with this approach you need to
really yank on the thing to get the maximum
stretch. Most studies don't do this and accordingly
the results for stretched penis length come
in at about a quarter-inch less than studies
on erect length.
So where does that leave us? Well, perhaps
the best way to determine the average penis
size is to take an average of the averages.
While there may be a difference of an inch
and a half between the averages of all the
studies conducted, the studies, like the penises
they measured tend to be arrayed along a bell
curve. The average "average" is
slightly more than 5.75 inches. And if you
look at our penis size survey, you'll see
it comes in at around same value.
So, here's how to tell if you're average.
Wait until you're sporting a maximum stiffy,
then lay a ruler along the top of your penis.
You can buy an extra 0.5" by measuring
along the side and you can probably eek out
another 0.25" by pushing the ruler in
until it hurts. But as you do this, ask yourself
who it is exactly that you're trying to kid.
If you top out at 5.5", then you're slightly
smaller than average. If you break the six
inch barrier then you're slightly bigger.
If you're anywhere in between you are the
medium, mode and median all wrapped up in
one. You're average, bub.