Foreplay Guide for Men
main thing men forget is that it takes women
longer to get in the mood. Men can move more
or less directly from watching football to having
sex but women are much more aware of setting,
surroundings and mood. They need to be romanced
a little and have more transition time.Slow
everything down. Begin your seduction on the
sofa, dedicate time to kissing, undress slowly
- the more time you spend working her up into
a lather the better, for both of you.
Use kind words
Since women respond more to verbal rather than
visual stimuli, talking is one of the best ways
to arouse a woman. It's also a way of letting
your partner know that she can take all the
time she needs. During foreplay, women are often
thinking about how they look, whether they can
please you, whether they're desirable. And here
are the three best words you can say to a woman
during foreplay: Take your time. It may sound
stupid, but you're giving her permission to
relax and enjoy herself. It's effective, and
she'll appreciate you for saying it.
Ignore the obvious goal
A main complaint women make about men's approach
to foreplay is we're too genital-orientated.
What men should remember is that women require
more non-genital , whole-body-touching sex.
Gentle touching is evidence to her that he cares
about her as a person. She needs that before
she can become fully aroused. Make a pact with
yourself that for a full ten minutes you won't
even go near her vagina. Concentrate instead
on the other nerve rich areas of her body such
as the breasts, mouth, neck, armpits, buttocks
Learn to tease
Anticipation is a powerful aphrodisiac. Here's
one trick that will work brilliantly for both
of you: lie on your side facing your partner,
with the tip of your penis just touching the
entrance of her vagina. This allows you to kiss,
fondle her breasts and stroke her buttocks while
gently teasing her with your penis. Resist the
urge to penetrate, though, until she wants,
or hopefully begs you to.
After all these years studying the female body
you might think you know it inside out. But
here's a three-minute masterclass.
While we might enjoy them, only one in ten
women actively play with them during masturbation,
so don't automatically expect her to respond
to your attentive breast worship. She certainly
won't respond kindly to it just before her
period - this is when they are at their most
If they're not erect yet, don't clamp or twist
them. Instead, use the flat of your palm to
rub her entire breast in a circular motion.
Start lightly and increase the pressure as
she becomes excited. Once they are firm, take
them between two wet fingers and slide back
and forth. Don't squeeze.
This bud of concentrated nerve endings is
a lot more sensitive to touch than the penis,
so don't bash or tweak it too hard with your
fingers. And don't plunge a finger deep into
the vagina - most women find this a real turn-off,
not to mention uncomfortable.
These are much more sensitive than the outer
ones, especially if stroked along their inner
surface. In one sex survey 84 per cent of
women masturbated by stroking them, along
with the clitoris.
Men, particularly those in long-standing relationships,
tend to forget how pleasurable kissing is. Instead,
it becomes nothing more than a signal that says
"I want sex now", says sex therapist
Lonnie Barbach. Next thing you know, you're
limiting kissing because you don’t want
your partner to assume it's a prelude to sex.
Escape this downward spiral by kissing her more
throughout the day. Then, when it does come
to sex, make sure kissing is at the forefront
of your foreplay. Use your tongue to explore
her entire body and be gentle. Remember - many
women would like less tongue. Try instead to
use the tip of it to play with the tip of hers.
Get an A in oral
For a polished performance try these simple
USE A PILLOW
A pillow under your partner's rear end provides
better access to her genitals.
Put your hand on her perineum, the area between
the vagina and the anus, and press or massage
it. It's one of the most erogenous zones for
'SING' TO HER
The clitoris responds best to constant, gentle
vibration. A good way to achieve this is to
hum quietly as you lick her. A well hummed aria
can push some women into orgasmic orbit.
Most men simply work their way down a woman's
body - mouth, breasts, belly-button, and so
But look at it from her point of view: if she
knows exactly where you're taking her the journey's
no fun. Whisk her off on a mystery tour instead:
TRY OVERLOOKED BITS
Her eyelids, inner thighs, the backs of her
knees, behind her earlobes, and the tops of
her breasts (not her nipples).
USE SMALL SUCKING KISSES
Add pressure with the tip of your tongue.
AFTER KISSING, BLOW ON THE AREA
It's probably the only time she'll enjoy catching
Keep your kit on
When you were a teenager you were probably fully
clothed for much of the sex you had. Not only
was this necessary (other partygoers wanted
to use the toilet), it was fun.
Once there's no
one to catch us in the act, though, we're all
too eager to strip off and get down to business,
which automatically speeds up foreplay.
Instead, take time to peel off - and make the
most of the clothes you've still got on. One
oral sex variation is to go down on your partner
when they're still wearing underwear. Reach
under the material with your tongue, push it
to one side for access or pull it off with your
Here's a final rule: if it feels corny, do it.
That applies to both men and women, but in different
ways. For women, it feels corny to dress up
in lingerie or costumes, but men find it very
stimulating. By the same token, the things that
men feel corny doing - lavishing compliments
on their women, snuggling and cuddling, waiting
on them hand and foot - are highly effective
forms of foreplay. Many men say they don't know
what to do to make their partners happy. They
just can't imagine doing or saying it. If you
feel embarrassed saying something, you now know
that it's probably the thing that'll make her