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Ending a relationship is usually never easy because good, bad and everything in-between, it’s still a loss and losses hurts. Most people are passive about ending unhealthy relationships hoping the other partner will call it quits, while others take a more active stance and initiate the end. The difference between the two types of people is usually rooted in his/her childhood. Children that were raised by nurturing, caring and loving parents are for the most part more secure in themselves as adults and find it easier to leave a bad relationship because they have less fears of being alone (but that’s another topic in itself).

Signs that it’s time to end a relationship…

  • You have a feeling of continuous frustration about the relationship (E.g., your emotional needs are not being met)
  • You’re finding more reasons to spend time apart
  • You’re being physically abused
  • You’re being emotionally abused
  • You no longer have strong feelings about your partner but reminisce about the feelings you used to have
  • You’ve changed your core values, beliefs and goals to accommodate your partner in hopes that your relationship will no longer be problematic
  • You’ve made drastic changes in your appearance hoping your partner will find you more attractive
  • You have a growing feeling of emptiness
  • You’ve put extreme distance or totally cut off former close relationships you used to have with your other friends and/or family

How to make the final decision...
The most pragmatic way is to make a list with two columns. One that lists the positive attributes of your relationship and one that lists the negative. Next, itemize the good and bad parts of your relationship honestly. Sometimes seeing a concrete list where one column is much longer than the other will help you see your situation more objectively hence making it easier to end a relationship that no longer brings you joy and fulfills your needs. Relationships should add to your quality of life—not subtract from it.

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