 Ending
a relationship is usually never easy because
good, bad and everything in-between, it’s
still a loss and losses hurts. Most people
are passive about ending unhealthy relationships
hoping the other partner will call it quits,
while others take a more active stance and
initiate the end. The difference between the
two types of people is usually rooted in his/her
childhood. Children that were raised by nurturing,
caring and loving parents are for the most
part more secure in themselves as adults and
find it easier to leave a bad relationship
because they have less fears of being alone
(but that’s another topic in itself).
Signs that it’s time to end a relationship…
- You have a feeling of continuous frustration
about the relationship (E.g., your emotional
needs are not being met)
- You’re finding more reasons to spend
time apart
- You’re being physically abused
- You’re being emotionally abused
- You no longer have strong feelings about
your partner but reminisce about the feelings
you used to have
- You’ve changed your core values,
beliefs and goals to accommodate your partner
in hopes that your relationship will no longer
be problematic
- You’ve made drastic changes in your
appearance hoping your partner will find you
more attractive
- You have a growing feeling of emptiness
- You’ve put extreme distance or totally
cut off former close relationships you used
to have with your other friends and/or family
How to make the final decision...
The most pragmatic way is to make a list with
two columns. One that lists the positive attributes
of your relationship and one that lists the
negative. Next, itemize the good and bad parts
of your relationship honestly. Sometimes seeing
a concrete list where one column is much longer
than the other will help you see your situation
more objectively hence making it easier to
end a relationship that no longer brings you
joy and fulfills your needs. Relationships
should add to your quality of life—not
subtract from it.
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